


Through Eyes of Starlight and Nightmares

by Kitashi



Series: Through Eyes of Courts and Fate [5]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Spoilers, What kind of Rhys fic would this be if there wasn't swearing?, You Have Been Warned, alternate POV, because really, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7196672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitashi/pseuds/Kitashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys's POV of the events leading up to and surrounding Feyre's rescue from the Spring Court in Chapters 10-13 of A Court of Mist and Fury.</p><p>Their bargain was made of her desperation to survive Under the Mountain. Rhysand keeps it because he can't stay away, and to hide the depth of the bond Feyre doesn't know exists. So how does he protect her without screwing everything up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Eyes of Starlight and Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK! 8D
> 
> Hello everyone! I'm soooooo sorry it has been so long since I posted anything. Life has been pretty busy for the last month (work, anime convention, being dragged back to the Dragon Age fandom by friends playing Inquisition, reading ACOMAF for the nth time for more fan fic material, etc.), and so I've been only able to write in spare moments on my lunch and breaks at work on my phone.
> 
> Ironically, as I started brainstorming/writing this fic, I had a request for this very subject by Julia (I tried to link a profile, but you don't seem to have one ;^;). So Julia, this is for you!
> 
> ALSO: I have NEWS!
> 
> In addition to this fic... there is another one! Another Rhysand one! Based on another request! 8D (because how much do we love Rhys? Judging from all the awesome requests I've had for Rhys fics, QUITE A LOT. *hugs Rhys plushie*)
> 
> I've been debating whether to post it on its own, or as a second chapter to this one, so I will probably post it in the next day or so once I'm finally solidified on how to end it. It is a pretty good sized fic though >.>
> 
> And I also have a Tamlin one in the works! (Hint: End of ACOMAF *evil laughter*)
> 
> Honestly though, I can't even begin to thank everyone who has left me a comment, kudos, and/or ideas for future fics. They mean more than I can possibly put into words. You all are so wonderful and you give me the drive to keep writing these! <3
> 
> So now that I've talked your ears off, without further ado:
> 
> THIS CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS FOR BOTH BOOKS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

A sharp rush of pure terror flew at me down the bond.

“Feyre!” Her name was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I hadn’t felt anything from her in weeks. Even when I had looked for her, felt for her presence, her mental defenses had become too good. I never would have thought I would regret teaching her that skill, but right now I was cursing myself that I had ever thought it was a good idea.

“Rhys?” Mor asked, her voice calm, but her eyes searching for what caused me to have such a reaction. Even though she hadn’t spent much time with her, it was clear Mor had taken a liking to Feyre.

“I… I don’t know,” I said honestly, answering her unspoken question, though my heart was racing. Feyre’s emotions were changing rapidly, but everything was being drowned out by her fear. Suddenly a flash of an image… her & Tamlin. The room around them was destroyed, barely anything left. Tamlin was leaning over Feyre, pushing on the air around her, as if he was being kept away. She was curled up in a ball, like she had been trying to protect herself. I let out a snarl. “I have to go to her.” I quickly rose from the table.

“You can’t,” Amren said. I had almost forgotten that I had been in the middle of a meeting with her. I looked at her incredulously.

“We can’t just leave her! What if she's hurt!?” I wasn’t entirely surprised it would be Amren trying to stop me, even if it pissed me off. She was my Second for many reasons, one being her ability to keep me from committing political, and sometimes unintentionally literal, suicide. But she was also one of the two people including Mor that I had told about Feyre being my mate. Amren shook her head.

“If you set foot in Spring Court territory, you are asking for trouble.  Walk into the High Lord’s manor, you are demanding a war.”

“She’s my mate!” I protested, but I didn’t dare raise my voice at her.  The last time I had interrupted her, I knew it was only the fact she had sworn fealty to me and that she tolerated me enough to call me friend that kept me from being a stain on the floor. And the second one was only probably because of the jewelry I gave her.

“And yet you refuse to tell her or lay any public claim to that bond,” she said, shutting me down. “That bargain of yours isn't something to use when it's convenient, and neither is your bond.”

Another flash of an image came across the bond. Tamlin had gotten through whatever had been around Feyre, holding her with his face buried in her neck. Feyre was still kneeling in the position she had been before, but her eyes were focused on a blotch of red on one of the still intact pieces of wall that looked too much like blood for my liking. I slammed my hands onto the table, trying to control my temper.

“Rhys,” Mor said in a warning tone, her gaze on my hands. I looked down. Shadows were forming over my hands, threatening to overtake my glamour and become actual talons. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, willing the shadows away. Mercifully, they vanished, though my rage was still bubbling beneath my skin. I sat down in my chair slowly and looked at Amren, forcing myself to smile. Feyre had no idea what she did to me.

“Where were we?” I asked tightly. Amren and Mor exchanged glances, but didn't comment. Mor began to report the latest goings on in the Court of Nightmares, though I wasn't actually paying attention. I was mentally counting how many more days I had to wait until I could call in my bargain with Feyre again.

~~

Two and a half long weeks later, I winnowed onto the front drive of the Spring Court. Feyre had been mostly silent again since the day of the destroyed room, with a few flashes of images that made no sense & a beyond irritating amount of images of Tamlin doing things to my mate that I had only dreamed of. I took a deep breath and walked up the drive.

The wards were thick around the manor, but I brushed them aside as I got closer to the front doors and the sickly sweet smell of roses. The wards got thicker as I came closer, but I couldn't help but notice they were geared less toward keeping people out, and more towards keeping people in.

I walked through the front door, not bothering to knock, and walked into the dining room, trying to feel for Feyre's presence in the manor.

Tamlin was sitting at the table, looking like he was eating breakfast by himself at the head of the table. He dropped the piece of toast in his hand when he saw me, his shock quickly turning to rage. I held back a smile of satisfaction.

“Get out.” I could feel his power threatening to burst from beneath his skin, his mouth turned up into a snarl. I kept up a passive expression, giving him a bored look. He might give somebody some trouble with that kind of power, but he had nothing on mine. I almost wanted to see what would happen if our two inner beasts had it out with each other.

“Good morning to you too, Tamlin. Where's Feyre?” I asked in a bored tone, enjoying how much I was riling him up. He let out a snarl.

“She's not going.”

“I believe Feyre darling made her decision, remember?” I purred, watching his rage build. A little more, and he might actually give me some entertainment.

“You can end this at anytime, but instead you choose to keep tormenting her! Hasn't she been through enough!?” He was still furious, but he sounded desperate. I raised an eyebrow.

“I could ask you the same thing. Have you managed to put your room back together yet?” I couldn't keep the chill out of my voice, & he flinched, but didn't say anything in response. I walked towards the stairs, feeling Feyre's presence upstairs.

“Rhysand!” I ignored him as I climbed the stairs. As I reached the top, Tamlin winnowed in front of me, blocking the way to a door.

“I’ll say it one last time-” he growled. 

I suddenly heard the door behind Tamlin creak, & I grinned, ready to make a joke at Tamlin's expense. 

Except the words died in my throat as I saw her. 

Feyre was peeking out of the door, wrapped in a blanket. I tried in vain not to think of the reason why she wasn't wearing any clothes. As the door opened wider, I noticed she had lost weight since I’d seen her last, and she’d already been skinny then. 

I felt the smile on my face falter. “Feyre.” I looked her up and down. “Are you running low on food here?” 

“What?” Tamlin demanded, clearly insulted. I ignored him and looked at Feyre.

“Let’s go,” I said, holding out my hand. Tamlin was in my face in an instant.

“ _Get out.”_ He pointed toward the staircase. “She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

I looked at him calmly and brushed a nonexistent fleck of dust off of his sleeve. I felt a wave of admiration come down the bond and the very loud thought of how she would have been bleating in panic had Tamlin’s teeth been inches from her throat. Her shields were down. I glanced at her.

“No you wouldn't have,” I said to her. “As far as your memory serves me, the last time Tamlin's teeth were near your throat, you slapped him across the face.” She scowled at me & snapped up her shields again, though the image of her slapping Tamlin amused me greatly.

“ _Shut your mouth,_ ” Tamlin stepped further in between Feyre and I, as if he were going to keep me from taking her. “ _And get out._ ”

Cauldron boil me, he was beginning to sound like a broken record. I took a step towards the stairs, putting my hands in my pockets. This had gone on long enough. Still, he was just too fun to piss off. “You really should have your wards inspected. Cauldron knows what other sort of riffraff might stroll in here as easily as I did.” I looked at Feyre again, my anger boiling as I took in her malnourished state. “Put some clothes on.”

She bared her teeth at me and stepped back into the room, Tamlin right behind her. He slammed the door hard, making the chandeliers shake and a painting go askew on the wall. I straightened it, waiting for her to return. The Spring Court was pretty in its own way, but it was just too… Springy. The white walls seemed so sterile, & if I breathed much more of this rose scented air I was going to be sick. I could hear them talking in the room, but it was too quiet & muffled for me to hear much without trying to get past Feyre's shields. It suddenly became quiet in there; too quiet for my liking. I fake coughed, hoping to break up whatever Tamlin was probably cooking up to stall me taking her.

As she walked out into the hallway, it pleased me to see she was wearing the turquoise Night Court outfit she’d been wearing when I brought her back last month. However, it was noticeably looser on her. I frowned, but she didn't even give me one of her normal go to hell looks.

I held out my hand to her, ready to get out of this place.

Tamlin came out of the room behind her, shoving my hand down and standing in between us again. “You end her bargain right here, right now, and I’ll give you anything you want. Anything.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Feyre snapped. I had to agree with her. Tamlin held my gaze, not so much as flinching.

I raised an eyebrow. He wouldn't give me what I wanted, because what I wanted was what he was fighting to keep. “I already have everything I want.” I stepped around him and took Feyre's hand, winnowing us away in black wind without another word.

~~

“What the hell happened to you?” I found myself saying to her as we appeared in the Night Court.

“Why don't you just look inside my head?” There was no anger in her words. No emotion at all. She stepped out of my hold.

I winked at her. “Where’s the fun in that?”

She didn't smile. Nothing at all.

“No shoe throwing this time?” I just wanted her to talk to me. _Come on, play with m_ e. I sent the feeling down the bond, but ran into her mental shields again. She walked towards the stairs to her room.

“Eat breakfast with me,” I said, desperate. She paused momentarily and turned to me, her clothes so loose that it was a wonder they were staying on as well as they were.

“Don't you have other things to deal with?” Still no bite to her words.

I shrugged. “Of course I do. I have so many things to deal with that I’m sometimes tempted to unleash my power across the world and wipe the board clean. Just to buy me some damned peace.” I grinned at her, bowing at the waist. “But I’ll always make time for you.” I meant it too.

After a moment, she motioned for me to lead the way, & I felt a wave of relief. I knew we couldn't reverse all the damage in one week, but this was a good start.

She walked with me in silence, but I could feel how tired she was; her shields were slipping just slightly.

I had to say something.

We were almost to the table. “I felt a spike of fear this month through our lovely bond. Anything exciting happen at the wondrous Spring Court?”

“It was nothing,” she said shortly. I felt my rage from earlier threaten to overtake the dampers on my power; I reigned it in as quickly as possible, hoping she didn't notice.

“If you know,” she said coldly as she dropped into her seat, “why even ask about it?”

I decided to be honest. “Because these days, all I hear through that bond is nothing. Silence. Even with your shields up rather impressively most of the time, I should be able to _feel_ you. And yet I don't. Sometimes I’ll tug on the bond only to make sure you're still alive. And then one day, I'm in the middle of an important meeting when terror blasts through the bond. All I get are glimpses of you and him - and then nothing. Back to silence. I’d like to know what caused such a disruption.” Because if Tamlin had been the cause, I was going to kill him before I returned her to him.

She put food on her plate, not seeming to pay attention to what she was grabbing. “It was an argument, and the rest is none of your concern.”

“Is it why you look like your grief and guilt and rage are eating you alive, bit by bit?”

“Get out of my head.”

“Make me. _Push_ me out. You dropped your shield this morning - anyone could have walked right in.” I stared at her.

She glared back at me, but I could see her heart wasn't in it. “Where's Mor?” she asked, changing the subject.

I tensed up. As much as I wanted to tell her about Velaris, I couldn't. Not yet. Not while she lived in my second most enemy's house. “Away,” I said. “She has duties to attend to.” I felt my shadows start to swirl around me and pushed them down as hard as I could. I would need to let off some power soon, maybe spar with Cassian. “Is the wedding on hold, then?” Changing the subject was best, before I accidentally revealed something to her I couldn't.

“Yes,” she mumbled, barely pausing between her bites of food. I was glad to see her eating, and even happier to hear she wasn't getting married, but her short answer wasn't like her.

“I expected an answer more along the lines of, ‘ _Don't ask stupid questions you already know the answer to,’_ or my timeless favorite, ‘ _Go to hell.’_ ”

She answered by grabbing the plate of tartlets. I could feel the shadows creeping around my hands now.

“Did you give my offer any thought?” 

She ignored me as she ate her food, not answering me until she reached for seconds. “I’m not going to work with you.” 

Well, that was blunt. “And why, Feyre, are you refusing me?” I spoke as calmly as I could, though I feel the darkness creeping into my voice. 

She pushed fruit around on her plate. “I’m not going to be a part of this war you think is coming. You say I should be a weapon, not a pawn - they seem like the same to me. The only difference is who's wielding it.”

“I want your help, not to manipulate you,” I snapped. My patience was wearing thin for this defeatist attitude that she seemed to have adopted in the Spring Court. 

“You want my help because it’ll piss of Tamlin.” 

Okay, that was fair. And actually a good idea, had I thought of it first. But it pissed me off that she thought so little of me, even if I had kind of earned it. 

“Fine,” I breathed, trying to get the shadows under control. “I dug that grave myself, with all I did Under the Mountain. But I need your help.” 

_‘Ask me why; push me about it.’_ I willed her to ask. She didn't. 

“I was a prisoner in her court for nearly fifty years. I was tortured and beaten and fucked until only telling myself who I was, what I had to protect, kept me from trying to find a way to end it. Please-” I hated to beg her. “Help me keep that from happening again. To Prythian.” 

She was silent for a moment, like she was thinking about it. But then she went back to eating. 

And so did I.

~~

She didn't come back for dinner, or even breakfast the next day. I didn't try to seek her out, but that didn't stop me from having Cerridwen and Nuala from checking on her while she slept.

When she finally emerged from her room at noon, I was ready for her. I nudged her to the table I had arranged with books & paper, ready for her lessons.

“Copy these sentences,” I said, handing her the paper and probably enjoying it a little too much.

“Rhysand is a spectacular person. Rhysand is the center of my world. Rhysand is the best lover a female can dream of,” she said in a monotone voice. I felt my face fall as she wrote the sentences out and handed it to me. It was written perfectly.

I slammed my mental claws into her mind, but they bounced back harmlessly. Her shields were strong black adamant. Not even a scratch.

I blinked, dumbfounded. “You practiced.”

She stood up and walked away from me. “I had nothing better to do.” She didn't even look back at me as she said it.

I stood there for a long moment after she left the room, replaying the situation in my head again. Nothing was the same from her last visit. The fire that was so very Feyre was gone, or very close to going out. 

~~

That night, I peeked into her room myself, a pile of books in hand. She was sleeping, but I could tell even from the door it wasn't well. I laid the pile of books by her door, and silently walked closer, trying not to wake her. She tossed and turned, the blankets kicked away, her face scrunched up in fear and pain. I could feel my heart breaking watching her, knowing there was nothing I could do to take away her experiences from Under the Mountain.

Tentatively, I reached out to our bond, stroking it lightly. Feyre shuddered once, but noticeably calmed down. Her face was the most peaceful I’d ever seen it, a slight smile tugging at her lips. She looked beautiful. I reached out with my hand, brushing a tendril of hair off her forehead.

“I wish you knew what you did to me,” I whispered. I felt my heart clench at the thought, knowing she wouldn't remember this later. I pulled my hand away reluctantly. I already missed the contact, no matter how brief it had been. I turned around, starting to walk towards the door. A piece of paper and a pen caught my eye on the vanity a few steps away. I looked back at her, and smiled softly.

 _I have business elsewhere. The house is yours. Send word if you need me._ I wrote with a flourish, but didn't sign it. She’d know who it was from. I laid it on top of the books and made my way to the door again. 

I looked back at her one last time. “I love you,” I whispered, so quietly I wasn't entirely sure I had said it aloud. I closed the door behind me and turned, leaning my forehead against the doorframe with a sigh. 

“Are you ready?” I flinched and realized that Cassian was standing in the hall in front of me, the expression on his face curious, his eyes full of questions. 

I nodded. “Let's go.” I brushed past him, quickly making for the stairs. 

I knew it was wishful thinking she might contact me. But still I hoped.

Days passed, and even though I constantly checked, she didn't. 

~~

The day I returned, I found her in one of the lounges overlooking the mountains, with a book in hand. I hid a smile at the thought of how she once considered this to be torture, but walked in quietly just the same, putting my nonchalant mask on as I slid between some armchairs with two plates of food. I laid them on the low table in front of her. 

“Since you seem hell-bent on a sedentary lifestyle, I thought I’d go one step further and bring your food to you.” She lowered the book into her lap. 

“Thank you.” 

I laughed, though my heart wasn't in it. “ _Thank you_? Not _‘High lord and servant?’_ Or: _‘Whatever it is you want, you can go shove it up your ass, Rhysand’_?” I clicked my tongue. “How disappointing.” 

She set down her book and held out a hand for the plate, ignoring my comment. I tugged back the plate with a tendril of magic, just out of her reach. 

She reached further. I pulled it further back. 

“Tell me what to do,” I said to her, desperate. “Tell me what to do to help you.” 

She didn't answer, still reaching for the plate. I could feel my glamour slipping, feeling the shadows making themselves more apparent by the second. I could feel my wings threatening to burst free. “Months and months, and you’re still a ghost. Does no one there ask what the hell is happening? Does your High Lord simply not care?” I was tired of watching her fade away. 

“He’s giving me space to sort it out,” she snapped. Emotion. That was a good start. 

“Let me help you,” I said, trying to coax her into talking to me, even if it was yelling. At this point, I’d take anything. “We went through enough Under the Mountain-” 

She flinched at the mere mention of that place. “She wins,” I said. “That bitch wins if you let yourself fall apart.” The words sounded hollow and almost hypocritical, as I wasn't letting anyone in either, but at least I wasn't letting myself waste away. 

She picked up her book and fired two words down our bond. 

_Conversation over._

“Like hell it is,” I snarled. Two could play that game. I let some power go for a moment, and sealed the book shut. She dug her nails into the paper and leather, but I made sure it wouldn't budge. 

She slowly looked up at me. Instead of fire in her eyes… I saw ice. Glittering, icy rage. 

Oh shit. 

I shielded myself just in time to avoid being smacked in the head with the book turned paperweight. It bounced off of my shield and slid across the marble floor, the cover coated in what looked suspiciously like hoarfrost. Her nails glittered with the same ice, which was spreading to her palms. 

“Good,” I found myself saying, a little out of breath and very interested in this development. “What else do you have, Feyre?” 

The ice melted to flame as she clenched her hands into fists. Fiery rage. I couldn't hold back my relief at the sight of the anger in her eyes. Finally, something I knew how to deal with. 

And it was gone a moment later, the hollow look back in her eyes. Her shield was down enough that I caught a flash of the Spring Court manor, but it was gone before I could see further. 

“Any time you need someone to play with,” I said, pushing the plate towards her on star-flecked wind, “whether it’s during our marvelous week together or otherwise, you let me know.” 

She looked exhausted, but began to devour the food. 

~~ 

The next morning, I winnowed her to the Spring Court garden where Tamlin was waiting under a large, gnarled oak tree. He looked absolutely murderous, his rage directed solely at me. I walked Feyre to him, meeting his expression with a predatory smile. He was lucky I didn't end him where he stood. 

Tamlin growled at Feyre. “Get inside.” 

She looked at both of us, as though for the first time really seeing the differences between us. I could feel my anger rising at how he was treating her. I looked at her. 

“Fight it,” I said simply. I didn't wait for an answer from either of them, winnowing back to the Night Court before I did something I regretted. 

~~ 

Silence again. 

I had hoped that she would be less closed off after our little spar, but as time went on, it was clear nothing had changed. 

Azriel noted that the wards and guards around the Spring Court were in full force, even worse than before. He had come to the same conclusion I had; these guards were not there to keep out intruders. He still had a few spies in the Court, but not near as many as before, since Tamlin had dismissed the couriers that usually flocked to his manor. 

I would tug on our bond every so often, but Feyre never deigned to respond. I knew deep down that she was still alive; if something had happened to her, I would have felt it. It was the only thing keeping me from going completely crazy with worry. But at the same time... 

I felt someone lay a hand on my shoulder. I spun around, with a snarl. 

“Rhys!” It was Mor. My shoulders slumped. 

“Mor…” I didn't even know what to say. I felt her sit next to me. 

“You have to tell her.” Well, Mor never was one to mince words. 

“I-” Suddenly, a wave of panic flew across the bond, like nothing I had ever felt. The panic I had felt during that meeting before was like a droplet in a lake comparison; this was a hurricane. 

I couldn't hold back my gasp. Her panic was so potent I could feel it affecting me, my heart beating faster as the waves kept coming. 

“I have to go.” I wasn't going to wait for Amren to come- 

“Don't you dare.” Too late. I bared my teeth at her. 

“Feyre-” Amren sent me a glare that silenced any argument I could have come up with. 

“You can’t keep using your bargain with her as an excuse to bypass the fundamental rules,” her tone matter-of-fact. My shoulders slumped. I knew she was right, but… 

“Can I go?” Mor asked suddenly. I looked at Amren, trying not to let my hopefulness show. I could feel Feyre’s panic rising. Amren looked at her for what felt like an eternity, even though I knew it had probably been only a few moments. To my surprise, she nodded. 

“You can go into the territory, but it has to be on your own power, on your own two feet. No magic, no winnowing until you are out of the Spring Court. To use either inside the Court would invite war on our doorstep.” Mor nodded. 

“I can do it,” she said confidently. Amren nodded at her and turned to me. 

“ _You_ need to stay out.”

“I’m going,” I shot back. I trusted Mor, but I had to be there. 

“I know you are,” she said, as though she were talking to a child. Which in reality, compared to her, we all were just that. “You just can’t go into the Spring Court. You can help Mor if needed in small ways, but nothing major. Too much interference from you, and it renders Mor going in your place useless.” I nodded quickly and turned to Mor. 

“Let’s go.” I wasn't waiting a second longer or for anymore of Amren’s arguments. She nodded and grabbed my hand as I winnowed us out of the room. 

A moment later, we were in the Summer Court, at the border between them and the Spring Court. The Seasonal Courts had always bothered me with their extreme dedication to their season. The forest in front of us was half green and blooming with flowers, the other still green but oppressively warm. Mor looked at me. 

“I will signal you if I need you to do anything.” I nodded, and she took off for the cave that served as the path between the Courts. 

~~ 

I waited for what felt like forever. 

Mor had been gone for a while. She had only reached out to me once to break a barrier around the manor. It took half a thought, barely a drop of my power. But now I waited here, feeling completely useless and pacing in the woods like an agitated animal. I had kept the damper on my power tighter than usual, trying to avoid drawing Summer Court attention. The last thing I needed was two courts out for my blood. 

I heard a noise coming from the cave. I looked up to see Mor coming out of the cave toward me, Feyre in her arms, thrashing against Mor’s grip. I let out a low, vicious growl. She was a mess, worse than the last time I had seen her. I could feel my rage on the cusp of consuming me. 

“I did everything by the book,” Mor said. She held out Feyre to me, holding her delicately as she could while keeping her steady, as though she would break. As soon as she was in my arms, I could see why; she looked like she was in the middle of a panic attack, like she was fighting for air. The flimsy green gown she wore was practically hanging off of her; she had lost so much weight that she was close to skin and bones. I held her gently, but pulled her closer to my chest. I felt such rage looking at the state she was in. I had trusted Tamlin to take care of her, to take care of my mate- 

I stopped myself from letting that thought go any further. I had to get her back to the Night Court. Tarquin wouldn’t overlook another High Lord’s presence in his Court for much longer, damper on my power or no. I looked at Mor. 

“Then we’re done here.” Mor nodded and winnowed out of sight, probably to prepare for our arrival at the Night Court. I let the damper on my power go a little, wind and shadows whipping around me in its own contained storm, shielding us from anyone who might be nearby. I spread out my wings and took off, knowing Feyre was in no state to be winnowed anywhere yet. Looking at her gaunt face, I reached out down our bond, like I had the night I had looked in on her, and touched it with my darkness, trying to calm her panic, stroking it lightly. After a few moments, I felt her relax and start breathing easier, falling into an exhausted sleep. I let out a small sigh of relief and winnowed in midair, our mission complete. 

~~

Feyre had been in a deep sleep for almost a day.

And between making sure she was comfortable and calming her screams and nightmares as best I could through our bond, I imagined all the ways I was going to kill Tamlin. Slowly. 

Once the twins had tried to change her clothes, but were met with such resistance despite her unconscious state that they finally just left her alone. Mor came in a few times, and though she said it was to check on Feyre, I knew she was also checking on me too. 

So far nothing had come from Tamlin, though I couldn’t be sure he had returned to the Spring Court yet. From what Mor told me, the manor had been sealed like they were planning to be gone for a while. But Feyre was on the wrong side of the barrier. 

She had been in a cocoon of darkness apparently, to the terror of the Spring court flunkies who had been left behind to guard her and who had all been knocked out by Mor. Only one woman had not been afraid of her, a servant who did not fight her when she took Feyre. She instead begged Mor to take care of Feyre. 

If I ever attacked the Spring Court, I would let her live. One good turn deserved another. 

“If you could get her to admit that you are mates, this could all be avoided.” I jumped as Amren’s voice suddenly cut through my thoughts, her voice quiet, but serious. “A High Lord cannot stand in the way of another’s mating bond.” I shook my head immediately. 

“I’m not going to force her into something that she doesn’t want,” I said softly. Amren laughed shortly. 

“You need to make up your mind what you are to her. Either you are going to pursue her, or you're not.” 

“Then I'm not.” I looked up at Amren, who was looking at me curiously. “The only thing Tamlin and I agree on is that she's been through enough. I'm not going to force this on her when she tolerates me at best and loathes me at worst.” 

Amren rolled her eyes and walked away, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like _men,_ and something else I couldn't identify. 

I leaned back in the armchair, looking up at the ceiling. I couldn't force this on Feyre. She had been through too much. She deserved to make her own choices. She had _earned_ that. 

And so I waited for her to awaken. 

And when she finally did… when she wanted to go with me… when she _begged_ me to take her… I couldn't say no. Even if I was putting the secret I had suffered fifty years of torment for at her mercy. I gave her a half smile. 

“We leave in ten minutes. If you want to freshen up, go ahead.” 

“Where are we going?” she asked. 

I grinned widely, unable to contain my joy at the thought of her getting to see it. 

“To Velaris- the City of Starlight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought! All comments and suggestions are welcome, & if you have a POV/scene you would really like to see, please let me know! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Update 6/19/16:
> 
> Hey everyone! I have a writing Tumblr now! If anyone is interested in talking and discussing ACOTAR, ACOMAF, or giving suggestions/asking questions, I can be found at http://kitashiwrites.tumblr.com.
> 
> Hope to see you there!


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